Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Israel, welcome aboard to the show. I'm so happy to have you here with us today.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: It's a great pleasure to be out here with you, Ari.
[00:00:07] Speaker A: Thank you. I want to jump right into it. Why is it important to put ourselves out there to be speakers, to be good at it? Like, why? Like, I don't like that. That's objectively the most scary thing if you think about it, right? Public speaking. Like, if I just picked somebody out of the street, there's like an 80% chance that they will be like, no, thank you.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You know, I think it's a great question, especially in today's age where there's so much going on in this, you know, as we say, a social media society. And many times people, they're silent. Even though nowadays in this time of eternity, like, there's so much platforms or access to getting our voice out there. But for some people, for some reason, people just don't share. And I tell people, like, if you have a world's best kept secret, if you have a solution, a knowledge, expertise, education or experience that you have gone through, it is your responsibility to share your voice with the world. Because if you don't share your voice with the world, someone else may have it worse than you had it. And it's all about really helping others to save their time and help them avoid the mistakes that we've made through our life's experience. So I think it's really relevant for today's age of, like, encouraging many, many more people to get out there and start to speak.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: I mean, this is the core, like, value that we wanted out of the Internet, right? It's this ability to share knowledge and take it out of the ivory towers and make it available to everybody, to, you know, sure, you still need to do the hard work, but if you have the knowledge available to you, then you can use it. Which I think is absolutely delightful. And I absolutely love your message of, you know, it's a service that we're giving to others as opposed to, oh, how do I make money myself?
[00:01:54] Speaker B: What is exactly, you know, go ahead. No, I think that's a very good point that you bring up. And you've heard it say, right? Like, hey, speakers, all they do is control and all that. But in reality, I found that opposite to be true, Ari. I found that speakers are actually some of the greatest servants that ever lived, right? Like, I believe that speaking is the highest level of service. And if you really want to, like, serve the public, that's why they call it public speaking. It's like stepping out there to share your experience is like. It's something that's so, like, selfless, right? It's actually something that's of humility because how many people go through things in life? Or I'll say it like this. Imagine if I went through something in life and I spent so much time and so much pain and so much hurt, like, learning the process, right? And like, I see my fellow man trying to go through the same thing and just I keep my mouth quiet because I'm afraid of what they're going to say because maybe I'm too tall or maybe I'm too small or maybe, you know, I may be too fat, right? For. Or maybe too skinny, right? And I'm afraid of what they're going to think. So therefore, I'm not going to share anything because I'm afraid of what people think about me. That's such a selfish thing to do and live like that.
And a lot of people do that, right? They're afraid of what other people think about them. And I don't blame demari, because I was there. So I get it. I was that. I was that kid, by the way. I was that. That person that was afraid of public speaking. But it wasn't until I understood that there's a responsibility that we have to share a life's experience. Not to, you know, as they say, like. Like give back, as people say, but it's more about paying it forward. Because giving back implies that you owe someone something, right? But you don't owe anybody anything. It's about paying it forward and doing your job and helping somebody else not go through the same things you went through. And that's what. That's what really service is all about.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: I've done a lot of kind of like, children camp as a counselor kind of thing, and what absolutely shocked me is that in such a little amount of time, right, you're sharing this experience with the camp. It just changes their life. And they'll come back, you know, five, 10 years later and say, oh, my God, you know, you said this. You did this, and, you know, it made me think differently. It's. It's not only a gift that you give, but it's also a responsibility. I feel somewhat, you know, intimidated by the power that it. That it can have over your audiences. Let me ask you this. What are the challenges or the barriers on the road for somebody to become a public speaker?
[00:04:27] Speaker B: I think, number one, it's just making the choice. It's making the choice to get out of Your own way.
Typically, this is what I found the consensus to be. You have people that have accomplished incredible things and you're like, bro, like, why aren't you sharing this? And they're like, well, you know, I have this going on. Or I don't think I'm ready yet. Or I'm like, you don't think you're ready yet? How many. How many years of experience you have? Oh, I have 10 years. I have 20, 30 years experience. I'm like, you still don't think you're ready after 30 years of experience? Right. So I think sometimes it's just like, people being able to be coachable and, like, getting out of their own way. Right? And that's what happened with me, Ara, to be transparent and honest. It's like I was in my own way and I was blind to it because unfortunately, they say it's hard to see the label when you're in the jar, right? Like, if you're inside the jar, you're not going to be able to see the label. And that's what happens with us, Ari. Sometimes we have incredible gifts, incredible, you know, messages, incredible experiences, but we don't see them as, like, something that people would want to hear because we're too close to ourselves. So sometimes it just takes somebody else from the outside in to come. To come and say, wait a second. Hey, you should be doing this. Hey, why aren't you doing this? To encourage us so we can finally get out of our own way and release the things that we're supposed to release to the world.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: I love that There's. There's actually a wonderful book that I feel like I have to share at this stage.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: It's.
[00:05:46] Speaker A: I can't remember the author's name, but it's called story worthy. And there's one very important tactic, I think, in there where he calls it as, you know, building your inventory. And my point is you have this amazing, like, career, like, you're saying you're going through all these experiences. All you need to do is, as something is happening to you, take a note of it, put it in an Excel sheet, in a document, write a. Put it in a journal. I have my, you know, my professional kind of, you know, thoughts journal with me all the time. Just take a note and what you'll find that in the length of a month, you have at least 10, 20 things that you can, you know, objectively share with the world that will be valuable. And you maybe didn't even take note that you're going through those things. So we're going through it. We just need to stop, make that inventory, take note, and then it takes a little bit more effort to craft the story effectively. Tell us about that second stage. Right? So once we've identified that we do have value, what's the second stage? How do we, like, manufacture these stories and how do we make sure they're good?
[00:06:54] Speaker B: Yeah. I think the number one key is you have heard it said, practice makes perfect, right? But I tell my students all the time, like Israel David Duran says, practice makes purpose. Right? Because what sometimes we don't realize is, like, that individual that, you know, it's been, you know, been at the management level or sweet suite level for five, 10 years, they have experience, like you're saying. And like, you know what? I remember going through this and helping people with leadership or mindset or communication, and, you know, I never really taught about it or taught on it or I never really spoke about it. So I don't know if I should release this. What that person will find, Ari, is the moment that they release it just to practice, they're like, you know what? Let me just practice. Let me do a practice run. Let me try to get some people together. Let me try to release an article. Let me, you know, let me do a little video on this. Let me practice. What they'll find is when they practice, it will actually be purposeful. And that practice, I'm telling you, it happens all the time. That practice will then touch someone else's life. And when they're going to see it happen to me, too, it's like, wait a second. I just tested this message and I got, like, 20 people that just reached out to me. I got 10 people that reached out to me that they've been asking for a solution like this, but honestly, if they only found out I'm practicing right now, what would they think of me, right? So that's what I tell people. I'm like, just get out of your own way and start practicing it. Start putting it out there.
It's better done than perfect, right? So many times we try to get things done perfect, and I'm a perfect. I was a perfectionist. So I struggled through that, that, that diagnosis, right? Trying to get everything perfect before releasing it. But then I understood and. And I do, I. I do equate this to the car accident that I was in, that we're. We're living on borrowed time, and we have to have a sense of urgency with being who we're supposed to be, but doing the things that we're called to do so. The people that need to receive it, receive it in due time.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: I think that's such an important insight, this idea of, like, what's the worst thing that can happen? Right? So, okay, it's not perfect, maybe it won't be received, but what's the worst thing that can happen? Nobody will notice.
Is that going to fundamentally harm you in some way? No. Or, or, you know, you might get some feedback.
I put out a post, it went viral, and I got some feedback saying, look, Ari, you were using negativity. They didn't say it like this, but that's what I was really doing. You're using negativity bias.
You're attacking this from a negative standpoint. Like, that's not cool.
And I thought that was so interesting. So I learned from it, right? I took that feedback and it drove me as a person to grow and to learn. And the worst thing that happens, you learn from your mistakes, right? It's as simple as that.
[00:09:39] Speaker B: We should learn from our mistakes. Some of us, we have to keep making mistakes until we learn. And I'll raise my hand on that one. One of the things I'll say, Ari, about what you said, I think it's so wonderfully said that sometimes you just got to put things out there. You'll get the feedback like you got. But here's the beautiful thing about that feedback. And, and, and, and this is very big in speaking. Like, with speaking, one of the key principles I teach people is like, hey, you don't want to try to please everybody with speaking, because if you try to please everyone, you'll end up pleasing no one. Right? It's kind of like when you speak, there will always be people that will receive what you're saying, and there's always going to be people that deflect what you're saying. Most people look at that as like a negative. Okay, I'm not, I'm not going to speak because I don't want to be rejected. Right? But in reality, it's actually a good thing because just like you had that individual say, hey, I don't really love the post that you posted. I think it was a little bit used, negative bias, right? Maybe some polarization. I didn't really like it, Ari. It still went viral. Why did it go viral? Well, I'll tell you why it went viral. The reason why it went viral is because you unlocked what we call polarization and you unlocked attention. And that's what the algorithm wants right now. I want attention, but also, just like that individual disagree with you, Ari. I'm sure that there's other individuals that agreed with you. And in the marketplace, so many people are just trying to be counter copies of themselves and trying to please everyone. That many times people don't have a real voice. So posts like that, when you come with negative bias, when you come with a, you know, just an honest perspective, those posts tend to do very well because it's typically like unseen out there. Right. And it's the same thing with speaking like when we teach about, you know, story Samurai, right? Talking about connecting with people. The biggest things, Ari, are like really being transparent and being vulnerable and talking about our shortcomings and putting that out there. And that is what actually converts nowadays when people stop trying to impress people, but they start to try to impact their lives by being vulnerable and sharing their vision with them is what I found to be huge.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, the social psychology behind this is like there's a science that has proven this, right? It's one of the examples I talked about in a different program is that if you. This is, this is something that a teacher did an experiment with me. They gave us half of the class this like, toy, and then they didn't give the other half of the class the toy. It was on a table far away. And then half of the class got the following message.
You need, if you want to keep the toy, right, Then you need to pay $1. The other half of the class basically got this message saying that, do you want to buy the toy for $1? Now you would think that it's exactly the same thing. Why? Because you need to pay a dollar to get a thing.
Overwhelmingly, the people who already got the toy wanted to keep it.
So there's these weird things that happen with social psychology, and negativity biases is one of them. We pay more attention to negative things than positive things. It grabs our attention. So there's definitely a science behind that. My concern is that are we losing to a certain level any kind of ethical standpoint when we're using these negative tactics to garnish attention?
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Well, I think it depends on perspective. Because, for example, when we look at the world system, are people using negative bias out there right now that don't have good intentions that are not going to take care of people that use it for manipulation?
I'm sure we can all say yes, that's happening out there right now, right? So if, like, if you're someone that has good intentions, someone that has a pure heart to help others in, you know, in your corporation, Potentially a business, potentially a nonprofit, a project. It is your responsibility to learn some of the things that Ari's sharing here about, you know, the psychology to be best positioned to serve people and really help them. Not just by saying you're going to help them or promising you're going to help them, but by actually helping them, by taking the time to study, to understand who you're working with, who you're connected with, so you can actually help them experience a breakthrough and, you know, transformation in whatever it is that you do. And it doesn't even matter if you're working for like a product based business, because I know that's what you do, or you're a professional at product development at the highest level. And even if someone's working at a product business, there's still team building that they need to have, there's still collaboration, there's still forgiveness that needs to be demonstrated. Right? There still needs to be empathy. You know, all of these are communication skills that start with speaking, right?
[00:14:24] Speaker A: I think that's so important, right? Because at the end of the day, your intent does matter, right? If you have a good or bad intent, that matters. And the second of all, what you're saying, which I think is incredibly important, is that this is a communication skill. There are certain communication skills that work better or worse, and you should at least have the ability to improve your communication. I think that's absolutely delightful.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: Yes.
I'm a big student of history, right? Because I heard this one that said those that don't study the history tend to repeat it. And one of the things, when you study history all the way from the time of Adam and Eve, from the beginning all the way to now, there's something with communication that has a direct correlation with what I call roi, which is not just what people think. Oh, ROI is return on investment. No, no, that's not what I'm saying. ROI is return on impact on the impact that people have with the people, the sphere of influence that they create around them. Like the level of people's communication will always be in direct correlation to the level of impact they create, the influence that they create, the inspiration they create, and obviously the income as well, right? Because the higher your income goes, typically that's a direct correlation with your communication. But it's crazy because you study every different country, every different language, every different society. That was the common denominator, right? Like even in the early, you know, 1900s here in the United States of America, like one of the things that slave owners did was keep people from Reading and writing, but it was specifically reading. Why was it reading? Because when you teach people how to see and how to read, that's where their vision comes from. And people get their voice from their vision. So if you take their vision from them, you immediately take their voice from them. This is why they wanted to keep people ignorant. They wanted to keep people without the books. And this is why I'm so passionate about education and empowerment. Because we need to be educated and we need to be like, in a position where we can actually say, you know what? I'm going to learn and be educated and be in a position where I can serve others and not let ignorance, which is the other thing that will typically stop our impact ignorance, keep us from not knowing.
[00:16:39] Speaker A: This is such an important point. You know, we have to unpack this when we look at if we had to like, write the guide for the, you know, 101 beginning dictator, right? How to oppress your people, how to control people, it would be, you know, burn the books that don't that their dogma doesn't agree with yours. It would be limit freedom of speech. It would be limit people's ideas. It would be control the narrative. So, you know, these fundamental, let's call them rights or values are really what creates independent and individual rights and what kind of keeps us free from a certain perspective. And my point is that is that learning how to communicate well, learning how to put your message out there in the world is maintaining that very basic freedom that we take for granted in many countries. And it's an incredibly, incredibly important thing. So I really appreciate your message here today.
[00:17:48] Speaker B: Israel, the crazy thing about it, Arin, I love what you're saying is what you just described is the process that a famous dictator went through back in Germany. You know, what you just described is literally the same, you know, the same architecture for it to get to the point of where it got to, right? I tell people this all the time. Whatever you want to seek for, don't seek for that physical thing first. Seek for the thing that comes before. So, for example, you want change, don't seek the change, seek the challenge that precedes the change, right? You want the manifestation. Don't seek the manifestation. Seek the mindset that precedes or comes before the manifestation, right? You want purpose. You want to know what your purpose is. Well, don't seek what your purpose is first. Seek your identity, because identity always precedes purpose, right? So like, that's exactly why, like podcasts like yourself, story samurai, like bringing able to bring these Concepts to people's lives can really get people to start to think right and start to study and also speak on what they're supposed to speak on. Because there's a gap out there, and that gap could be someone else's Goliath.
And you may be called to fill that gap so you can help others not be defeated, not be left behind, if you will. So some, some very good points we're talking about here on this episode.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, it's, it's, it's never been a disclosed objective of this show, but you, you hit it head on. We really want to show, obviously help people share their stories, but that's kind of trivial. But really it's about exploring the shades of gray. The world is complicated. There are many views. And my big point is your voice has value. And, you know, that's such an important thing for me because I think it's a fundamental, valuable thing that we bring to the world is sharing our voice.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Israel, 100%. Your voice doesn't have. Only have value. Your voice is called to literally fill voids in the world.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:20:04] Speaker B: So, like, people ask me all the time, israel, well, how do I get my vision? Well, your vision typically comes from knowing your purpose, and your purpose is your vision and pictures. So what do I mean by that?
[00:20:17] Speaker A: Go ahead. Well, I just wanted to say that, like, purpose, that's such a, that's such a, an abstract thing. How would somebody even get to like, what is my purpose?
I would imagine some people stuck at that first step.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a great, great question. I think it all stems from identity. Purpose is rooted from identity. So a quick backstory about me. So I have a big belief that the things that you don't have as a child are things that you value as an adult.
And there's these four specific things that I didn't have as a child because my dad's name is Domingo Dudan. And quick story about him.
He was having some massive chest pains on his left side.
And my mother's a doctor, Dominican Republic, and she wasn't able to transfer the license here. But my doctor, my mom told him, hey, go to the er. You got to go check yourself out. You're getting a lot of these check test pains. This is not good. So my dad went to the er. He waited three and a half hours at the er and then he got impatient. For some reason, they didn't attend him at the time. This was back in 1993 because there were other emergencies before his. Right. So my dad went back Home. And unfortunately, my dad essentially took his last breath and he had what we call in the US a massive heart attack.
And my mom was the one that actually found him there, not breathing. And it's a traumatic experience for my mom. My mom doesn't talk about it much. I don't ask her much about it because, you know, you don't want to bring those memories back. But I was only about three months. I was about three months, three months young when my dad passed. So growing up Ari, I wanted to sit down with my dad, and I wanted these four things from him.
And what's crazy is these four things that I didn't have as a child are literally the foundation of what I do now with the service of speaking. And, like, it's like the thing that I'm focused on now, which is kind of weird, you know, it's like the thing you didn't have as a child. Now you're like, right. And those four things are, to answer your question, are, number one, identity. Because I wanted my dad to tell me who I was. And I think everybody, every young child is asking that from the parents, right? I wanted then purpose. Like, I wanted to know why I was here. And number three, I wanted vision.
But I didn't only want vision. I wanted to find my voice. And, like, that's why I tell people, you get your voice from your vision. And then number four, I wanted to have a custom plan. I wanted for him to tell me, hey, this is how you know this is your identity, this is your purpose, this is your vision, this is your voice. This is how you're going to execute it. But I didn't have those four things.
You know, my innocence was taken to me from a young age to Ari, because I used to have this lie that I used to believe that it used to tell me, you must protect yourself or you'll be hurt. And that was the lie I believed as a young child because my dad wasn't there. But then I had an experience where I actually was abused as a child. And when I say abuse, I'm talking about sexually abused as a child. I was probably under 10 years of age. Don't recall what age I was, but what it did. And I learned this later on in life when I grew up. What it did, it empowered the lie. You see, you must protect yourself or you'll be hurt. And it created a lot of damage in my life, but it also gave me perspective on understanding the importance of those four things that I just mentioned. And that's where people if somebody really wants to know their identity, their purpose, they need to seek out their identity. Like, and you typically get your identity from your creator, right? Like, seeking out like. Like who you are, because then that's going to give you clarity on why you're here and what you're called to do.
[00:23:49] Speaker A: Tell me more about this idea of, you know, you have to protect yourself in order to get hurt, not. Not to get hurt. Why is that a lie? How do you kind of disassemble that, that. That saying?
[00:24:01] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you know what?
Because I was. I was. I had an orphan spirit, as they say. Like, I was, you know, my dad wasn't there. My. My bonus father came into my life when I was about five. I call him Bonus Father because when I was at Les Brown's house and I told him my story, he said, don't call him your stepfather. Call him your bonus father, because the man that raises you is your bonus father. So I call him Bonus Father. But he came into my life when I was about five. I didn't accept him as my father until I was probably about 21 years of age, just because there was a lot of abuse, alcohol, things like that. But me and him are very good today.
But to answer your question, that's what was in my mind. Hey, you must protect yourself or you're going to be hurt because, you know, you don't have your dad there to offend you. Right? I used to go through a lot of bullying, you know, things like that. And then the experience of me being, you know, through a trusted family member, being essentially abused, that also just strengthened the lie, you see, you must protect yourself or you'll be hurt. So what did that create in my life? It created a lot of defensiveness, a lot of pride, a lot of, like, walls. I had a lot of walls up. I was very introverted, right? I was. I was afraid of public speaking. But literally, I used to have a stuttering. Very bad. I stayed back in second grade because my speech impediment problem. But all of this was rooted from what I didn't have as a child and the experiences that I had, that's. That. That made me that way, right? And that's how I would act out. But it wasn't until I understood, I'm like, wait a second, I don't have to protect myself. You know, I'm a man of faith. I believe that God is the one that protects me. And I had to renew my mind, you know. But when I renewed my mind, it also gave me the ability to say, you see what. You don't have to hide what you went through. You can share what you went through, because I don't have to protect myself. And I can share, and hopefully someone else can be empowered, edified, encouraged, through my pain, you know what I mean? Through the things I went through. And that's what empowered me to share what I'm even sharing now on this. On this podcast. But does that make sense?
[00:26:04] Speaker A: There's something so beautiful about this idea that you're drawing strength from the horrific experiences that you went through, that all of us go through. And I just want to stop here for a moment and say thank you for your incredible vulnerability with sharing your story for the audience. We're not in person, but I want to come and give you a hug and say that a. I see you and that you are very valuable, and I think this is something that everybody needs to learn and remind themselves. So I deeply, deeply appreciate your humanity.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: I appreciate that, sir. Thank you. Thank you for that.
[00:26:47] Speaker A: Once you. Once you kind of figure out, you know, what is the service really that you want to give your community, what are your values? What are your identities? What's the next step?
[00:26:57] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, it's all about helping people.
The tagline of our. Of our. Of our process is profit with purpose. Right. Like, everybody's after nowadays money, but money is not the most important thing. Even though money answers all things, it's more so about how can you make sure, like, I have a philosophy, how can I die empty? You know, like, I don't want to go to the graveyard and, like, have regrets and saying, oh, I should have launched that book, or I should have done that podcast. Right. Or I should have did that speech. Like, I want to make sure that I share the things that I'm supposed to share so I can help the next generation. And I can also please my creator. Right. That's my mindset because I see so many people. Ari and I had a mentor. His name was Dr. Miles Monroe. He passed away in 2014 of a plane accident and a horrific plane accident. But God rest his soul, him, his family, his wife, and 17 others that were on the plane. But he used to say this a lot. He said, the graveyard is the most wealthiest and richest place in the world. And when he would say that, when I would watch, I would be like, but what do you mean by that? The graveyard is the most wealthiest and richest place in the world. And then he would explain it. He would say, there are the books that were never released. There are the nonprofits that were never established. There are the podcasts that were never launched. There are the businesses that were never created. There are the products that were never developed. Right. And he was so true. So it's like when you ask me, hey, what's the next step Is making sure people make that decision to release the things that they're called to release on Earth. I don't want to say before it is too late, but sooner than later.
[00:28:38] Speaker A: Wow. Israel, we have only one scripted question on the show and it is a hard one.
If you had to go back to 20 something year old Israel, what would you advise him?
[00:28:53] Speaker B: I would tell him, discover your gift and begin serving it.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: Thank you so much for coming on the show today. I appreciate you.
[00:29:00] Speaker B: Thank you for having me.
