Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Steven, welcome aboard to the show. So happy to have you with us today.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: Thanks for the invitation. Been looking forward to it.
[00:00:06] Speaker A: You have a really interesting story. I'd wonder if you'd be willing to share us. You know, your. Your. Your motorcycle trip and what that led to. You too?
[00:00:14] Speaker B: Yeah, no, absolutely. I love talking about my passions for service and. And how I can marry that to my other passion, which is motorcycling. I. I'm a Harley Davidson life member. I think I was writing many bikes before I was riding a regular bike. I couldn't see the reason to do the other, so I've always ridden motorcycles, had motorcycles. Enjoy it. I call it my wind therapy. It's a chance to get out on the open road, whether I'm riding with a group of guys or by myself, and just, you know, just experience being in the moment, being present, and dodging distracted drivers, which is always interesting. My other passion is service. I'm a military kid, lots of military members in my family, and so I always saw the value of service to something greater than yourself. So I've always been involved in nonprofits across a wide range of causes. My passion is veterans and military families. And in 2010, I was introduced to an amazing organization here in Texas called the Boot Campaign. And it was founded by five women who read a book called Lone Survivor, later made into a movie. And they were. They were just really taken back by the story of sacrifice and brotherhood and just. And just grit and survival. And so they. They decided to do what smart Texas women have a tendency to do, is they said, let's just raise some money for a cause. They weren't professional fundraisers, so they went to an Army Navy store. They bought some boots and swags. They went to a public park in Tyler, Texas, stuck a flag in the ground, and invited people to, quote, get your boots on and donate some money. And I tell you that backstory prior to the motorcycle ride, because that simple act of what can I do as an individual turned into a major veteran service organization that's been phenomenally successful going on now 12 years. I met them the year they were founded through some friends. We just kind of connected. I live in Texas, and their story inspired me to do something. So they said, well, you know, what do you like to do? And just as you ask me, motorcycles. I said, well, I ride motorcycles. So I started to take what used to be a biker bucket list to ride the perimeter of the United States with some buddies and said, let's turn it into what we call the full throttle leadership Ride. Let's get out and live our passion. Let's ride across the country, but let's make it count for something more than a couple of guys stopping for some beers and seeing some cool places. What's interesting about that story is, like, all biker bucket list. It started out with a group of guys that I ride with a lot, and they were completely bought in to this idea of, yes, let's do it, and let's raise money. And so we start planning, because that's a little bit different thing. I've ridden some big rides before, but never 13,000 miles. 35 days, 34 states. That. That's a. That's a big bite of the apple.
And the closer and the closer and the closer. We got to go. I'll bet you can guess where it went, because you. I think you know my story. Guys started to drop off for a variety of reasons, most of which they said, my wife won't let me go. My wife said, go, have fun. So literally 24 hours before the Full Throttle leadership ride was set to go, I was the lone Ranger. It was just me. And it gave me a moment to pause because it is my passion. It was a merging of my passions. But that's a big ride to tackle by yourself. The good news for me was I committed to do it. I had the full support of the boot campaign. We had events set up all over the country, and so off I went. And I have to tell you, it was the most amazing experience in so many ways, certainly life changing. But the good thing about going by myself is even though I had a schedule and I had places to be and events to participate in, if I saw a sign that said scenic overlook two miles ahead or historical marker, I could go off path. And every time I did that, I met an amazing person that I would have never met. That added to the value of the ride that. That were veterans or military families members or had a buddy serving, and it just made that whole ride so much more impactful. I tell people all the time when I got home, and I would be asked, what do you remember most? I would flippantly say how much my butt hurt after so much time in the saddle. But the reality was I had the gift of doing something that was impactful and meaningful. But I met people that I would have never met, went off path and off route so many times because I had the time to do it, and it literally made all the difference in the world. And I still. That ride was in 2013, and still today I communicate with people that I met along the way. We worked together on a variety of events to benefit veterans and military families. So the Full Throttle leadership ride was an amazing experience. I'm not ready to ever do it again because that was a long, long time in the saddle. But it was truly a game changer for me, personally and professionally.
[00:05:58] Speaker A: Do you did. Do any of your buddies that were. That kind of bailed out last moment, like, I should have joined you? Do you hear any of that?
[00:06:05] Speaker B: Oh, I get that all the time. And, you know, not only that, but just folks that I ride with in the motorcycle community. You know, why didn't you reach out to me? And, you know, I would have gone with you, but, you know, I think as we get older and we have life experiences, I think all of us come to the realization that things happen for a reason, and there's a time and there is a season for that. So in my head, I always envisioned that ride as, again, a collective biker bucket list with buddies.
Where I sit today, that was never supposed to be anything but what it was. It was me out there on the road by myself, sharing stories, talking about the boot campaign and being open and available to go where the ride needed to take me. Not necessarily where I thought I was going to take the.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: I gotta say, if I had to give a gift to the people I love, it's that mindset that you had of something bad happened. I'm gonna make the best out of it. This is not happening to me. This is happening for me. And that's just such a wonderful and beautiful mindset that I think can be, you know, the difference between success and failure and everything we do in life. So I deeply, deeply appreciate it.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: No, thank you for that. I think that's one of the. It's a core principle of leadership and just being a good human being is that there's so much in our lives that we think we can control or that we want to control or that we're told we have the opportunity to control. I always think the best things happen when you're not expecting them, when you're just, as you said, available, because you just never know. I could never have planned to say, you know, I'm going to go off point. I'm going to go here, I'm going to go there. I mean, if we'd have been riding together as a group, we would have stuck to the plan. So I was. I'm just forever, relentlessly grateful that half of my really good guy friends are married to women that won't let them go have fun.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: There's something amazing I have the saying of, you know, don't close doors, open windows. And it's really about this idea of the power of serendipity, right? You don't want to shut the door in anybody's face, you don't want to burn bridges. That one's pretty trivial. But this idea of opening windows that you don't really know where they're going to go, how they're going to change your life. I can point back to these five windows that have completely changed my life in such a fundamental way that I never imagined that they would.
So there's a beauty, I think, to that. You said something incredibly interesting, right? You said wind therapy. I mean, for those of us who are not motorbike enthusiasts, explain what that means and I think more importantly what that feels like.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Well, I like to think that most of the most important lessons that I've learned, I've learned on the seat of a motorcycle. And you know, today in this chaotic, disruptive world that we live in where we're so disconnected, there's a lot of conversation about wellness and well being. And for me, I didn't realize that just generically through my life riding on motorcycles of all sizes, I had been creating my own path to wellness. And it really is that quiet space now. I ride motorcycles perhaps differently than most people. I do ride with groups. There's a bunch of guys that I like to ride with, but I don't have any type of communication on my motorcycle. You know, I don't have, you know, I'm not talking on a walkie talkie to the person in the back of the pod. I'm not doing that. If you want to talk with me, you got to know what the hand signals are.
I'll listen to music. I don't even want to listen to the GPS tell me make a right turn or left turn. I kind of know where I'm going and if I miss a turn, I'll U turn.
So for me, that wind therapy is being present in a moment when you absolutely have to be present. Because that's. Motorcycling is an inherently dangerous sport. There are a lot of distracted people out there who aren't looking out for you. There are, you know, when you're riding a motorcycle, you are in it. I tell people that all the time, bikers, we like to call people who drive in cars those, we call those cages.
And you're hermetically sealed in your cage, listening to your music in your, in your climate controlled environment, having A voice disconnected, telling you when to turn and when the gases running low. And you can't do that on a motorcycle. You have to stay extremely focused. And if you want to take in some of that other stuff, you have to get. You have to stop and get off the bike. So for me, wind therapy, it's that full experience. It's being present, it's being mindful, it's being fully aware. If I had to use a word, I don't think I've ever felt more alive than I have when I'm riding motorcycles. You have to be.
[00:11:10] Speaker A: There's a. There's a incredibly important aspect of being social and connecting to the environment around you.
What does that look like? What are the. What are the crazy, amazing things that have happened to you on your motorcycle trips where you've just been open to meet new people? If you can share one of those stories.
[00:11:29] Speaker B: Yeah, a ton of those. Just. Just two that stick out from the Full Throttle leadership ride that, that very much live in this space that we're talking about right now is. I was San Diego, California, I think, and I saw a sign that said scenic Overlook. And of course, in the west coast, at that point, you're. You're heading into town. All the good stuff is out on the throttle side. So. Beautiful Pacific Ocean. And it was time to take a break anyway, so I went to the scenic overlook and got off the bike. And I have to tell you, riding a motorcycle is the best networking icebreaker on the planet because even people that don't ride motorcycles will come up to you and go, that's a beautiful bike. Or, where are you from? Or where are you going?
And I had a little veteran flag on the back of my bike, very small. And a gentleman came up. He was wearing a Harley Davidson T shirt. Older gentleman came up and, hey, where you going? And so I shared, and he. He got very emotional as I was telling him about my journey and some of the veterans and my. Just my own journey as a military family member. And he said, my son is deployed in Iraq right now. He literally just left. And his son was a West Point graduate, and he was wearing his son's West Point graduating ring. And so we were just talking about his son and how proud he was of him. And. And he said, you know, you're out here and. And you're talking about my son, even though you've never met him and you're not talking about him by name, you're talking about the service that our veterans give to the country. You're talking about military family members, because you are one. And so you know what that means, like to have someone deployed or someone. And Sam, we just had this great. Just kind of hanging out and we took some pictures together.
And as I was ready to leave, he reaches into his back pocket, he pulls out his wallet and he says, and he's just a lot of bills. It's like 40 bucks. And said, here, you know, this is just for your next gas stop or whatever. And it just. It struck me in that moment that here's a father and I'm a father. There's a father whose son is in harm's way because this was right in the middle of some really fierce fighting in the Middle east. And his son was in Afghanistan at the time and was going back and forth quite from Iraq and Afghanistan. And so he's in harm's way and he doesn't know. He just knows his son is in a really scary place. And the fact that he wanted to give me gas money, I mean, told me it just validated while I was. Why I was out there is our country is just made up of so many great people. If we just took the time to talk to each other and share what's important to us, I mean, what a change that would make in the world that we live in. And so, of course, I didn't take his money, but I just remembered how impactful that was as I was heading into San Diego and went, you know, another validation when you're out there by yourself and you're away from your family, as I was, and it's a bit of a grind that it was validation that what you're doing matters. And I had a very similar situation when I was up in Iowa and I was staying in a hotel, and I was very impressed because they had reserve parking for motorcycles. But there was every morning when I came out, the first morning I knit, there was a. There was a guy there, and he was, you know, sweeping the front, whatever. And I talked to him, and he was a Vietnam veteran, he was homeless, and. And. And we just kind of talked. And that's how. That's what he did to make money. Came and, you know, cleaned up the front of the hotel and was, you know, toweling off my bike and gave me a chance to say to him what I know most Vietnam veterans never heard was welcome home and. And, you know, you matter. And so again, another one of those just moments of just sheer connection because I was out there and available and was being intentional about talking to people.
[00:15:50] Speaker A: I think it's worth explaining that for a second.
Why were. Why were most Vietnam warriors not welcomed home?
[00:15:58] Speaker B: Well, I'm old enough. I mean, again, I'll be 69 at my next birthday. So I was part of the last group before the draft ended in the 70s. My older brother, who was career army officer, you know, had his number called. It was a very different time. It was a time of great turmoil. It was a very unpopular war, not that there's such a thing as a popular war. A lot of protests going along, along. And so. And it was the first war that was fully televised. So it came into our living rooms. I remember. I remember watching a guy named Walter Cronkite broadcast from Vietnam. And we've never seen that. So we saw the destruction, and we saw the death, and we saw all the problems. So when Vietnam vet veterans came home, they didn't get the ticker tape parade. They didn't get the welcome home. They didn't get the thank you for your service. What they got was spit on.
I remember talking to some Vietnam veterans who told me when they flew back into the States, into San Francisco, they changed out their uniforms on the plane because they don't want to be accosted.
And I have the opportunity to work with a lot of Vietnam veterans, just do some events and things that we partner on, and every one of them says, you know, we didn't get the welcome that the veterans are getting today, and that's okay, but we want to make sure our stories get told. And I asked a buddy of mine who's a Vietnam veteran several years ago, and he's the one that put this idea in my head. I said, you know, isn't thank you for your service just not enough to say to Vietnam veterans? And he goes, well, of course it's enough. He goes, what. What I can tell you, what they really want to hear is, welcome home, young man. So whenever I meet a Vietnam veteran, I don't care if he's, you know, 70 years old, that's the first thing I say, is, welcome home, young man. And you matter.
And thank you. Yes. For the service you gave to our country. It's important.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Appreciate that.
I think that especially nowadays, a lot of us don't remember that aspect of our history. And I would say that maybe today it's as relevant as ever to talk about this and remember it, because we are in complicated times. I want to ask you a different question.
This element in writing, this mindfulness that you spoke about, you really have to be in that moment or, you know, you're potentially in danger if you're distracted. Has that affected other elements of your life in regards to being a parent, being a husband? How do you feel that that's changed you?
[00:18:41] Speaker B: Well, I learned at an early age that you have to pay attention and you have to be very focused on whatever it is you're doing when that comes to relationships. Times 10, times 100 probably. You know, we, we talked about, you know, I'm a father and you know, when you're raising children that that's, that is its own experience, as I'm sure you know.
And so you, you've just got to lock in you, you can't take those relationships, whether they're friends or their family or their co workers or colleagues. I heard this great quote a couple of years ago. They were talking about social media and they said we're more connected at any time in history, but we're less in touch. And I love that because I think that is, I think that's spot on.
There's a lot of things that we do as professionals, as people in our day to day life. We work hard, we play hard, there are things we commit to doing, but there is nothing that's going to make more of an impact in your life and certainly not in the legacy of your life. Whatever you want that to be, then taking time to be present and fully engaged with the people that are sitting right in front of you and it doesn't matter if they're right in front of you live or what we're doing right now, you know, that's where we learn and that's where we grow. That's where we get better, that's where we get healed, quite frankly. So I just think this intentional focus on people in your life and opportunities to connect with people who you don't know just to be open to it, not, not to be so uptight and you know, what if I say the wrong thing or whatever, you know, I don't know them and what if, what if, what if, you know, you only get one time around the sun, just, you know, embrace it, you know, fully.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: Do you think that a lot of us are, have a missed opportunity? We're putting on these masks. We have our regular, you know, small talk. We don't, we don't go beyond, you know, skin deep. And we're not maybe taking these opportunities to really connect.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: There's no doubt about that. And again, the world that we live in, right, it is very digital in so many ways. I'm extremely grateful that I grew up in the era that I grew up in, you know, where we didn't have all the technology. And don't get me wrong, I love the technology. I've completely embraced it. I use it in what I do. It's important, but it's just a tool. It's not that it's not a substitute for engagement. And quite frankly, I think it's less an engagement tool and more of a marketing tool, if you will. So we've. We've got a whole generation of young people to. And I hire a lot of them and I work with a lot of them.
You know, it's hard for them to hold a conversation. It's hard for them to look you in the eye.
If you ask, you ask. Most people tell me about yourself, they struggle, right? What is it that you want to know? So the art of conversation, the art of engagement, the art of connecting with people as people, not judging them from how we're taking them in digitally through our own digital portal, but just learning about them.
That's where you create great friendships. That's where you build colleagues. That's where you find your mentors. And again, for me, this stage of the game and someone who lives in a leadership space, you know, I'm very committed to giving back because so many people have poured into me over the years. I've had great mentors. I've had great role models in my own family. So, you know, it's. I'm not going to miss an opportunity at this stage in the game. I'm not going to waste it. To do something that I think, you know, might be difficult, might push me out of my comfort zone and make me uncomfortable. I like being uncomfortable. It's a good place to be.
[00:22:56] Speaker A: I love that. What would you kind of. For the people that have noticed that they want to make a change, that they're ready for it. What are the things that you would advise in behaviors or tips and tricks in order to make that change and really connect?
[00:23:12] Speaker B: Well, I get that asked a lot. It's like, Stephen, you do so much and you're involved with so many, you know, causes and people, and how do you find the time and what do you do? And that's a pretty easy answer for me. One, I try not to say no ever to a new opportunity, and I can make all the excuses in the world. I'm busy and I've got this and, you know, whatever, but make yourself available. And the other thing, too is you've got to break out of whatever the routine is for you. And that's hard for us as people. Now I'm fortunate. Even though my routine is motorcycle riding, when I can do it, it does force me to step out of my office, step out of the suit, in the tie, get out on the road where anything can happen and is going to happen from something as simple as the environment changing. And now you've got to make, you know, you've got to make a detour to opportunities of people that you meet. And I wasn't planning on staying that long. So I think first of all, you just have to move out of your comfort zone. The most important thing you can do is leverage what you're passionate about in service to something greater than that passion.
And so that could be. I mean, again, all of us have life experiences. I don't think I've ever met someone who hasn't donated to a charity or knows someone who needs help or is part of a service organization.
I think knowing that as a person, you have three great superpowers that you can leverage. You have time, you have talent, and you have treasure. And so pick one of the three and give just a little bit of it. That's the other piece. Everybody seems to think you've got to do this whole big thing. You do not have to embark on a 13,000 mile, 34 state 34 day motorcycle ride to make a difference. Walk out your front door, look around in your neighborhood. There are people that are hungry, there are people that are lonely, there are people that are suffering. That's, that's what I believe is the calling of a true human being is to make someone else's life better. Out of your comfort zone, leverage your passion and don't be afraid because fear is going to keep you stuck. Fear is going to say you can't do it.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: Stephen, I hear a lot from people saying, okay, just be successful. And then once you're very successful and rich, then you can give back. Right? You don't have to do this now.
Actually, this is criticism almost that I got directly. I'm going to assume that you disagree, but tell us more.
[00:25:56] Speaker B: Oh, I 100% absolutely disagree.
Hey, listen, if you win the lottery tomorrow, that just means you got more time, talent and treasure. But what's meaningful is that you give of yourself and you, you know, that's where your real power is. You know, that's why I call it your superpower. There's only one you, there's only one me. Our opportunities to change the world we live in one little piece at a time. One person at a time is powerful. So I completely reject that. You know, you've got to, you've got to get to give. I think you got to give to get. Quite frankly, I think it's the other way around. If, if your legacy is that you built a great business, you raised a good family, that those, those are wonderful, wonderful things. But. And then what, what's next? And what else did you do? What did you do with that great business that you built? How did you and your family spend your time together working with people who aren't as blessed as you are, who don't have what you have? I've been, I've been incredibly fortunate with our two children, Aubrey and Connor. They've grown up in this service world. They've been part of. You know what I do, I remember one year, so I grew up in, in Alabama and there was a tornado that ripped through Tuscaloosa back in the early twenties and we, we have family down in that area and we, we just loaded up the truck on a long weekend and they were small, I mean they were like, I think 8 and 6 and, and they went with their mom and, and pulled stuff out of shelves in a abandoned Walmart while I was out, you know, in the field, you know, looking for survivors and stuff. And, and, and that was a hard, quite frankly, it was a hard time together because you, I mean, you just saw the devastation and the destruction. But I also think it, it made them better as people and I think if you asked them, they would tell you that. So, so many opportunities and just start today. Start with where you are and what you have and who you have.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: I love that. And that would be the advice that I give to parents. There is no bigger way to make a change in your children's life and their perspective than, you know, taking them on a, some kind of service activity. So I, I deeply appreciate that story.
Stephen. There's only one scripted question on this and that's, it's a difficult one at that. If you had to go back to 20 something year old Steven, what advice would you give him?
[00:28:33] Speaker B: Don't be so arrogant. I tell people that, you know, who know me today and see the fully formed, or at least better formed human being that I would like to think I am. But I think like most 20 year olds, I was very arrogant, very self assured.
I knew everything. You know, I was definitely the smartest person in the room and I had no problem telling you that. And so what I realized back then is, gosh, I missed so many opportunities to be better, to do better and Again, I'm one of those people that sometimes, certainly early on in my life, I had to learn through pain. I was the kid that my mom said, don't touch the stove. It was hot. And I would go, it can't be that hot. Or maybe it won't be as hot to me because I'm so awesome. I see a lot of. I see a lot of entitlement in our world today. I see a lot of arrogance in our world today. It doesn't win. It doesn't. It doesn't serve.
It's not going to get you where you want to be, even though your arrogant self will tell you that.
So I would have. I would have liked to have been less arrogant and quite frankly, more humble and more grateful.
That's one of my favorite words, is gratitude. Gratitude and attitude. And I didn't have much. Well, I had very little gratitude and a big attitude when I was 20. And I'd like to think they've come a little bit closer together through the years.
We don't. None of us get where we're going to go by ourselves. You know, I like this saying.
Nobody ever became anybody without the help of somebody. And I think if we all sort of embraced that as a life journey, we'd realize that we need each other. We're dependent upon one another for everything that makes a difference. So to use a military term, embrace the suck. Jump in, make yourself available, be humble, be grateful, because there's a great ride waiting out there for you. Just roll on the throttle.
[00:30:42] Speaker A: Stephen, thank you so much for coming on the show today. This was truly a pleasure.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: No, thank you so much. I appreciate the opportunity to tell my story and. And share whatever wisdom I've picked up over the years, and I'm looking forward to the next big, great adventure. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. I can't appreciate the opportunity.
[00:31:02] Speaker A: Happy Thanksgiving.
